You may think her gentle and humble, but gentleness has nothing to do with her. Meet Um Za’zah, the heroine of every tale she tells. Her academic or cultural background may be lacking, but she possesses an unmatched ability to spin stories that go on for hours. She starts by introducing the characters, their emotions, and their reactions, lingering over every detail—that’s her specialty. Every character in her stories is either trembling with anxiety, captivated by her unique heroics, or both. As for Um Za’zah herself, she’s the confident protagonist who never falters, her advice is golden, and those who heed it are victorious. Those who disregard her wisdom? They return defeated, regretting their foolishness.
Weather Forecasting Extraordinaire
The family was preparing for a lovely outing, with almost everything ready to go. Um Za’zah poked her head out of the window, giving the sky a piercing look, then twitched her nose left and right. In a flash, like the lightning she swore was about to strike, she ran to her family: “Stop! We can’t go on this outing. I can smell the rain and see the coming flashes.” None of the seven other family members could detect a hint of rain, but Um Za’zah’s conviction was enough for them to call off the outing and stay inside, waiting for the storm.
The Prophecy Fulfilled!
As the family gathered by the window, eagerly awaiting the rain, droplets began to hit the glass. Um Za’zah stuck her head out, getting splashed as water dripped down. The family cheered her accurate prediction, grateful for her weather instincts. Little did they know, the “rain” they witnessed was actually water dripping from the neighbor’s rug, washed and left to dry on the balcony on that sunny day.
Um Za’zah’s Keen Insight
Um Za’zah claims to have unrivaled insight into human nature. Her piercing gaze can, as she says, “devour” someone, revealing their inner thoughts and qualities. If she likes someone, they become a paragon of virtue: kind, charming, and noble. Displease her, though, and you’re dubbed deceitful, nasty, and villainous. She rarely has solutions for those who start well and then disappoint her, though. When this happens, she says, “I knew all along but kept it to myself so you could see for yourselves.” She’s always got an escape route.
One day, a neighbor asked her to help choose a bride for her son, given Um Za’zah’s claimed expertise. And, following her advice, they proceeded with the engagement. But when the girl turned out to be nothing like Um Za’zah predicted—since choosing a spouse is like picking a melon; you never know until you cut it—Um Za’zah was quick to shift the blame: “I meant her other sister; the mother just misunderstood me!”
Visionary of the Future
Um Za’zah’s foresight qualifies her to shape the future plans of entire nations, or so she believes. She crafts her family’s lives with her predictions, and if anyone dares to differ, she recounts tales of those who followed her advice and now live in bliss, contrasted with those who ignored her and found only hardship. Ironically, a closer look reveals the opposite: those who defied her thrived, while those who followed floundered. Yet, as the master storyteller, Um Za’zah weaves events to fit her narrative. She casts herself as the ultimate heroine, while everyone else is relegated to supporting roles.
Dreams and Omens
What Um Za’zah dreams is bound to happen—according to her. She rarely shares her dreams beforehand, only narrating them after events unfold, weaving beginning and end so smoothly that it feels preordained. If reality remains unresolved, so too does her dream, as she often says she woke up before reaching the conclusion, leaving us all with “to be continued…”
Um Za’zah’s Unbeatable Heroics
Um Za’zah is a woman, no one can deny that, but in her tales, she’s stronger than any hero of yore. In one of her stories, she single-handedly faced down a mighty army that threatened her tribe. With a single word, she sent them retreating, completely defeated. Her tribe bowed before her wisdom, peace was restored, and they lived in harmony, producing generations of boys and girls to come.
Thus life goes on with Um Za’zah. No one knows if she truly believes her stories or simply enjoys spinning them for her listeners. To more tales and escapades with Um Za’zah!
Oh, and I almost forgot: according to her, her creations receive universal praise. She is, after all, the number one chef, the number one consultant, the number one strategist, and, in her words, “number one in everything that matters!”
