Among the press statements that stood out for their satirical tone following Donald Trump’s inauguration as President of the United States was a biting satirical statement published by the British newspaper Private Eye, presented in the form of an official apology. The statement carried a sharp, sarcastic tone that reflected the newspaper’s signature style of political satire. It read as follows:

Donald Trump: Apology

In alignment with other media institutions, we may have inadvertently, in the past, suggested that Mr. Trump was a sycophantic, erratic, orange-faced individual—a “big baby” who posed a threat to democracy. We also previously believed that his most suitable place was prison rather than the White House.

However, in light of his triumphant return to absolute power, we now recognize that Mr. Trump is, in fact, a “political giant,” “the voice of reason,” “a champion of freedom,” “a model of integrity,” and “the savior of the Western world.” We would also like to add that he is now “slim,” “handsome,” and “young.”

We hereby offer an unconditional apology for any confusion our previous statements may have caused, and we extend our gratitude to President Trump for his generous invitation to contribute £94 million for the privilege of attending his inauguration.

This statement has not been verified.

Noteworthy

This satire is not merely a passing joke but rather an invitation to reflect on how some media outlets shift their positions under political pressure or financial incentives. Through this clever piece of mockery, the newspaper highlights the contradictions between past statements and present stances, raising questions about media credibility and its relationship with power.